Dirty Money

UGK Dirty Money Cover

How’s life treating you out there? Good, I hope. As for me? Not so good. Why you ask? I miss the early 2000’s. And ok, I’m not gonna pretend I am or was the biggest UGK fan (In fact I didn’t know who they were until I saw the Jay-Z Big Pimpin’ video. “Big pimpn, spendin cheese,” that song went.), and I’m sure many of you got jiggy wit it, sip’n on your expensive glasses of whatever while taking the most fabulous women home after the club in those years, but me? No. Around that time, I was working at a gas station, trying to find couches to sleep on. In 2001 when Dirty Money dropped, I was in full-blown pimp and hustle mode. Yup, I was living in the sticks selling nicks for $20, drinking 5ths of Absolut, and sleeping with suburban girls who were infatuated with low-life thugs like myself. What better music to listen to than some UGK pimp shit to usher me into a soon-to-come destruction with females? I won’t get deep into that, but I will share with you a few UGK tracks that kept me lit in the trap.

Take it Off… Yup! This was my go-to song when I invited over a sure thing for the night. I mean, why beat around the bush with songs that have nothing to do with the reason for the invite in the first place? Now if you’re a woman reading this, please don’t be offended or think of me, the author, as some sort of womanizing pig. But if that’s what you think about who I was in those moments, then you’re absolutely right! At that time, I was all of that and above, and some females were embracing it. To me, “Take it Off” is raw dog pimping at it’s finest. Like Pimp C says it:

Uhh, take it off chick, bend over, let me see it
If you lookin for a trill-type figure, let me be it
Got the V-12 Benz, parked outside
It ain’t enough room to fit dem guls in my ride
It’s onna, work somethin, twerk somethin basis
Makin big change, dancin in them tricks faces
She sleep in the day, but bump some booty at night
You kiss that thang and I’m out, cause she been playin with my pipe

Bruh really, I’m listening to this track like, “Maaaaannn, tonight I’m Pimp C!” The song reminds me of something you’d hear in a 1970’s pimp movie like The Mac. Later on in the track, Pimp C goes onto say:

Now get your mind right, hater, you a simp (a simp)
And I’m a red hot undercover pimmmmmp (pimmmmp)
That make them guls get down on the flo’, on the flo’
Like a real live money makin pro, uhh
You gotta take it off, take it off, UNH
And let a first class nigga break you off, chick
You gotta take it off, take it off, UNH
And let a first class nigga break you off some, chick

Right about then, I’d be pouring her a glass of something or giving her a plate of something I’d just cooked up. She’d be feeling nice, I’d be feeling nice, so the mood for the bullshit would be set.  But let’s not forget, Bun B has some pimp ish on the track too:

It was a Secret that Victoria tried to hide
A little sly delight, I done pushed my pride aside
Just to slide inside, man I done died tonight
Now what I’m ‘sposed to do? Been got close to you
Lookin like a poster to, don’t want to boast but you Missus
Do a Dr. Feelgood, lay a playa real good
Limpin came back, and it was still good, she will
Put a few tips in her mouth, that’s that definition
Of them true chicks in the South, let me do my thang
On the cool quick to the crotch, get the beds but guess what?
We kickin them hot, shakin it soft, shoulda been here
She did eight and the law, but you was late and you lost
Man she was takin it off

Bun B is definitely a legend and pioneer in the Southern Music scene, but I personally gravitate more toward Pimp C’s flow. I don’t know, they’re a helluva duo but most people pick and choose a favorite in a collaborative project, or at least I know I do.

Another song that really cracked my egg shell is their track Ain’t That a Bitch (Ask Yourself). Like I mentioned earlier, I was having a whole lot of fun when this album came out—you know, fun things like having unprotected sex or telling every girl who’s good in bed you in love with them when you’re really just in lust with the sex—so it was only a matter of time before this song came to mean something to me. I listened to this track again, three years after hearing it for the first time, and it was like they were talking directly to my irresponsible dumb ass. Pimp C starts the track spitting this:

[Pimp C]
Uhh, you stayin’ with that bitch, layin’ with that bitch
Fuckin’ all your paper off, playin’ with that bitch
At first, all you want to do was fuck with the bitch
Years passed by, now you stuck with that bitch
Ya fighting mo’ and mo’ now you fed up with the bitch
But you knew that was a ho when you hooked up with the bitch
But you trusted the bitch, cause you lust for the bitch
Ya suck on the pussy and bust nuts in the bitch
Now she around this motherfucka pregnant and shit
But a child to a bitch, is seen as nothin’ but a lic
The next thing you know the bitch gotcha in court
Tryin’ to getcha paper, calling it “child support”

Did you read what he said? Did you hear this song? Do you know somebody who has been or is going through this? If you answered no to that last question, you’re a liar cause you’re reading an article by the idiot this song is about right now. Yes, I fell in lust with a creepy crawler who had every intention on trapping me in a relationship I never wanted. I was getting money and she liked that. I was a freak and she liked that. She saw some sort of security in me. In the end, I’m paying child support, regretting the day I invited her into my life. Why didn’t I listen to Pimp C? Why didn’t I focus on this song’s content at the time?

When Bun B’s verse comes, it has nothing to do with the topic Pimp C was on. He talks about receiving a letter from the government and their fears about how they’d never make it in the industry. I don’t know what that has to do with a “Pimp, be careful” song of this nature, but I guess that’s why I barely played it or skipped it when the album first came out.

The last track I’ll share with you is one I vibed out to a lot: Wood Wheel. Now look, I never had any cars like the ones these two legends had, but that never stopped me from feeling like I was in one when listening to this track.  In reality, I was always a few minutes away from breaking down in whatever hoopty I was driving. Unlike some other songs, this track really showcases UGK’s compatibility and back-to-back flow:

[Verse 1: Pimp C]
I’m up early cause my nigga
Don’t sell dope after night time
Love choppin’ blades, rollin’ hooptie
‘N move the dope through the pipeline
Pimp C, bitch…holla at yo’ bitch
Now yo’ bitch on my team;
Got her buyin’ us sticky green
Lace some with promythazine
Candy sweets, a candy bitch
You lookin’ at a candy boy
I done came down Main and popped trunk;
Hit the switch on my candy toy
We all young ghetto boys
That’s why we act this way
Tryin’ to see a million dollars
Hopin’ these niggas don’t blast today

[Verse 2: Bun B]
Pro smoke, pro choke
Anti-broke, conservative liberal
Left-wing slangin’, right-wing hangin’
In criminal court, it’s civil
In the middle of reality
Unsolved mysteries riddle
Knockin’ over fat cats
And gettin’ my dogs some bits and kibbles
On notepads I scribble
Write rippers that’ll make you think
Snap so hard it’ll break your synchronicity
Fuck it, take it, trick
I fake it, blink ‘n poof
We disappearin’ into a shroud of dojer
Cloud composures, all-nighters like Folger’s
But, bitch, I tried to told ya

These tracks bring back so many memories, both good and bad, and to this day, I still can’t believe Pimp C passed away. I see why Jay-Z chose this duo to be on one of his best albums of all time Vol. 3… Life and Times of S. Carter.  On their own merit, Pimp C and Bun are hip-hop legends. They paved the way for countless artists both in and out of their hood. They influenced superstars like Drake and probably underground artists we’re still waiting to hear. When you’re feeling pimpy, UGK albums are a sure thing. Just don’t forget that secret pimp wisdom: wear condoms and, if possible, vibe out sober.

Rip Pimp C.

And Bun B, continue to be the legend you are and keep impacting communities in a positive way. You guys are one of the best duos in hip-hop without a question. #respeck